Quarantine observations – just kidding!

My daughter told me on Sunday that she is already totally tired of cooking three meals a day for a family of four, and cleaning up. Says the kids are helping some, but not enough to make up the difference.

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter, the Living Room or The Bedroom.

Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Remember the muumuu?

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog. We laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I’m so excited. It’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

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19 Responses to Quarantine observations – just kidding!

  1. MaryfromMarin says:

    Here’s another one (only half funny–the other half is TRUTH):

    “We are two weeks away from finding out everyone’s true hair color.”

    Liked by 8 people

    • stella says:

      Fortunately we can buy hair dye on the internet (and I need to do mine NOW.)

      Liked by 5 people

    • Lucille says:

      I just stay gray 24/7. Silver-rimmed glasses and silver earrings always look great.

      Liked by 7 people

      • stella says:

        That’s a great decision in retrospect, but doesn’t much help those of us who have permanent hair color with a skunk stripe!

        Liked by 5 people

        • Lucille says:

          Hahahahaha! What a great visual!

          Liked by 4 people

        • Menagerie says:

          Boy howdy, have I gone down a Facebook rabbit hole in that respect. My hair has been gray since forever, FIrst ones in my early twenties. I never really liked coloring it.

          Remember when we all (admins) lamented about how your hair changes after menopause and when it gets gray and I said I lost my curls? So, for a long time, after a lifetime of taking curly hair for granted, all I could do was flat iron the hay stack I had on my head. It kept getting a green stripe in it, and man I tried everything to get it out, expensive shampoos made for gray hair all the way to disgusting smelling home concoctions.

          Somehow in the course of running down suggestions to clear up the color I stumbled on a couple of groups on Facebook which have really helped me. One of them taught me that I was the reason my curly hair was gone, and now I have curls again. The other is a group of women who talk incessantly about gray hair because they are choosing to grow theirs out.

          I get lots of good tips from that one too, but I snooze them a lot because they get on my last nerve. They are whiny about criticism, as if everyone has to give them a medal for going gray, and they think they are folk heroes or something. Still, every once in awhile I still drop in there because some of them do indeed have good tips.

          Liked by 5 people

    • czarowniczy says:

      I’m about 7 days away from folks finding out what my hair looked like in the early 60s. Hmmmm…where are those old Beatle Boots and my Nehru shirt?

      Liked by 7 people

      • Menagerie says:

        With the first trip to the barber, only to find out they were closed, my husband pulled out the clippers and handed them to me. Two weeks ago he had about an eighth of an inch, now he’s almost a hippie again. He got a bit of a scolding from the eight year old granddaughter, who really believes that he should never make decisions for himself.

        Liked by 4 people

        • czarowniczy says:

          Czarina likes my longer hair – I keep waiting for the Sergeant Major to come up behind me and rip me a new one for providing a poor example for the troops.

          Liked by 5 people

  2. Lucille says:

    Love the Quarantine Observations…hahahahahahaha!

    Liked by 6 people

  3. auscitizenmom says:

    Love this. So funny.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. czarina33 says:

    LOL one liners! Some too close! How about this one: be sure to change from your daytime pajamas to your evening pajamas by 8:00 p.m.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. czarowniczy says:

    Local news is finally bellying up with some news we’ve sorta suspected for awhile now: the numbers of deaths in NOLA (and in some other major cities they’ve checked) are African-American. We sorta figured that from not only the belated figures of over 200 ‘illegal’ gatherings being held in NOLA but also from the personal stories of prominent local black persons and obits in the paper.

    They aren’t mentioning it but I’m betting it’s heavily due to the underlying comorbidities in the local black community. There are about as many dialysis and cardiac issue treatment centers in NOLA as there be fast food stores. Louisiana is one of the five for diabetes, only separated from #2 by 0.4 10ths of a percentage point and bounces in and out of being THE most obese state in the Union. We won’t even go into the smoking, drugs, drinking and again, our being in and out of the #1 state for HIV. The COVID just seems to be hiliting a problem that’s been known and ignored for a long time.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Lucille says:

    True dat!

    Liked by 5 people

  7. OK…this real had me actually laughing out loud to myself!


    Liked by 1 person

  8. jeans2nd says:

    Guv Huckabee does these every week. This week the Guv touches on some CCP Virus subjects. 7:22

    Ok, I cheated…levity not my gift…but cheating…..Kobayashi Maru…

    Liked by 4 people

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