Seen on the internet …

Have seen a couple of versions. This is my own mix of the lot.

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even a tiny amount of Governmentium causes a reaction which normally takes only a few days to complete to four years or more to finish or resolve.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientist to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical point of concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. Vast sums of money are consumed in the exchange yet no other by-products are  produced.

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6 Responses to Seen on the internet …

  1. auscitizenmom says:

    Very funny. 😀

    Like

  2. jeans2nd says:

    97% of scientists agree that Gv is real. The remaining 3% are Gv deniers, and are shunned.
    It is believed that continuing research, led by an ever-increasing mandatory number of morons and peons, will result in further discoveries about Gv, with sufficient Gv funding. Results are not expected for eoons.

    Science is Great!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. czarina33 says:

    Since I never took chemistry, I thought the Periodic Table was a mystery. This explanation makes everything I needed to know totally clear.

    Like

    • stella says:

      I dropped out of chemistry. Fortunately it was an extra class for me that semester, because I would have failed. I had never taken a lab science before, and they put me in an advanced class because I was good at math. On top of that, our teacher was an ex chemist from Dow Chemical, and an really terrible instructor.

      Like

  4. czarina33 says:

    Since I never took chemistry, I thought the Periodic Table was a mystery. This explanation makes everything I needed to know totally clear

    Like

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