Suicide. Don’t do it.

This morning I was catching up on some videos recently posted by people I subscribe to on YouTube, including Bill Whittle. He begins to tell the story of a recent experience he had at a gun range. One of the people in line with him rented a gun and then took his own life. As I watched this video, and Bill also shared his life story, I began to cry.

You may not know, but Bill didn’t begin to be successful until he was in his late forties, and didn’t marry until he was in his fifties. As he said, he was poor. He didn’t have money in the bank. He drove an old car. He had his electricity turned off. His chosen career was stalled. He drove a limo to earn money to live on.

We often think that other people are successful and happy, while our lives are unremarked at best, a failure at worst.

What Bill says about people who care about you, and you don’t even realize it, is very true. He talks about the days he was writing Eject! Eject! Eject! – his first blog. He said he never thought anybody would read it, and then someone told him that they saw a car in North Carolina with a sign on it that said, “Read Eject! Eject! Eject!”  He was astonished.

You may never know who cares about you. You may never know who you might be influencing by what you write, or say, or do. I know that I am not always patient, or kind. I am trying to do better. I do know this, though. When you write a blog post, or make a thoughtful comment – even if you aren’t directly reaching out to someone – you may be making a positive difference.

What he says about making that step to reach out for help can seem more difficult than taking your own life, but you have to do it, and you will be glad that you did. There are other people who have had experiences like yours, and they will be happy to help you too.

Then by saving your own life, you just might save the life of someone else down the line. There is a comment on the video that says just that. A man who had his life saved was able to help save the man who saved him.

I’m not saying this very well, but please watch the video, because they say it better than I ever could. I love you all!

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11 Responses to Suicide. Don’t do it.

  1. auscitizenmom says:

    Wow. Intense.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Jacqueline Taylor Robson says:

    I had a very good friend kill herself when I was 25 with an intentional drug overdose. I know why she did it, but that didn’t matter. What they say in this video is so true, you are hurting so many people so badly that would do anything to help if they know. More people than you can imagine.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Menagerie says:

    Love you to Stella. Thanks for the video.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sharon says:

    I’m in the process of listening right now….so am constructing my comment without hearing the whole thing.

    Having been seriously suicidal for a number of months, many years ago, and having lived with the idea of “needing to be dead” – I lived with the process of figuring out 1) what I was doing; 2) why I was doing it; and, 3) whether or not it was a good idea.

    Suicide, at the gitgo, is a selfish act. Regardless of the reasons and the emotions. And to choose to commit suicide in such a public situation is a remarkably super-selfish, couldn’t care less how others are impacted…..which just again demonstrates the basic situation: it’s a selfish choice.

    And…having said that…It. Is. A. Choice. No matter what the reasons and the emotions are, it is – at that moment, on that day – a CHOICE. I have found in talking with others who are suicidal that it was effective to ask them to focus on that fact, and acknowledge that it is so.

    The handwringing “oh, you poor thing – please don’t kill yourself”! is not helpful. Sometimes the suicidal person actually does just enjoy the drama and the uproar. Granted, there are serious pressures at that moment, but if it’s being fed by enjoyment of drama, that IS a factor.

    During the months/year(s) that I “wanted to be dead” my reason was simply that I wanted the pain to stop.The endless, crippling psychological pain that manifested physically to the point where I was sometimes unable to walk.

    What ultimately stopped me was my pastor pointing out, on a phone call, “Sharon, it is not up to you when you will leave this life. That is not your call.”

    Since I was capable and willing of telling the truth in my heart, I knew that what he said was true. I understood then that if I decided to kill myself that I would, in some way, be called into some accounting before my Sovereign God and my monologue would have to start with, “Well, sorry, God. Your provisions and Your love was not enough for me because….” I realized that I did not want to be facing that conversation. So I chose to live with the pain until (and if…..) it might diminish. It did. But there were choices, choices, choices all along the way.

    The suicidal person is blowing smoke if they pretend “they have no choice”. That is not true.No one else is obligated to prevent them from killing themselves. Another thing my wise pastor said to me was this, “Do you understand that if you really want to die that I will not be able to stop you?” That was important that he required me to acknowledge that.

    ….and then there’s a different story: when I was sitting in the adult Sunday School class on one of the Sundays during that time and one of the stalwarts made this statement within the discussion, “There is no way I will ever understand how someone who claims to be a believer could EVER consider suicide.” (said with great self-righteousness)

    In that moment, I was seriously tempted to raise my hand and say, “If you have five minutes after class, I can tell you very simply how a believer can consider suicide.” But I realized I didn’t have the emotional strength to go through the conversation at that time, and did not.

    About twenty years ago in Minnesota, another Christian lady who became aware that I had attempted suicide years and years earlier said to me, “I bet you can’t even remember now why you wanted to die….” I gave her a drop dead look (pun absolutely not attended) and said in a drop dead tone, “I remember exactly what the reasons were.” And that was the end of that conversation.

    When I am aware that someone is suicidal (usually because they have told me they are) I always have two questions for them:

    1) How will you kill yourself? (if they have figured out the details…it matters….not the only issue, but AN issue.

    2) If you decide to go through with it, will you promise me today that – if that happens – that you will call me and tell me you are doing it?

    When I am in a position to engage in such a conversation with an individual, I have never found it to fail – at that point, they ARE willing to make that promise. I tell them that I expect them to hold to their word. And I tell them that when I get that call, that my first action will be to call 911.

    In other words, I won’t enter in and become part of the thing and become obligated to “keep their secret”, but I take them very, very seriously and actually, in the process, am requiring them to take seriously what they’re doing.

    No one should drop that kind of information on me and expect me to not take it seriously. And I expect them to take seriously the consequences of speaking to me about it.

    I have found in a handful of situations that my clear response of taking it seriously and holding them accountable for what they have said – the whole thing evaporated. Some people actually do talk that way just to get attention. (Fact)

    I’m aware that my illustrations/reports are on several sides of the issue. That’s reality.

    The video is just now wrapping up.

    Very well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    • stella says:

      I had a friend who killed himself. He was very careful not to let anyone know what he planned to do. He made sure his dog was taken care of, then he wrote a note, got into his car in his garage, turned it on, and died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

      Liked by 1 person

    • stella says:

      I’ll add that my friend had mental problems for a long time, and a final disappointment was apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back. I can only guess based on what I knew of his life.

      Like

  5. czarowniczy says:

    I remember Dear Abby’s comment on suicide: “It’s a long-term solution to a short-term problem”. Then again there’s no way to tell what another person’s tolerance is and what his/her load is. At some point the suicide’s ability to cope exceeds the ability to see any pain beyond his/her own.

    The VA released a study showing that between 1999 and 2010 an average of 22 vets a day committed suicide -one every 65 minutes and about 1/3rd of vets had thought about committing suicide. In the US as a whole about 120 persons a day commit suicide. Twice as many women attempt suicide than men but men are 3.5 times more successful, so it ain’t a rare thing, it’s just all too prevalent.

    Liked by 1 person

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