In honor of my 50th wedding anniversary. Of course, I was divorced long ago and, even if I had not divorced, my ex-husband is no longer alive, so this isn’t a real anniversary.
Regardless of the disclaimers, love is one of the best things about being alive, and a big part of life’s memories.
The Quiet World
Jeffrey McDaniel
In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.
When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.
Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.
When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.
Falling in love is a very strange thing. Sometimes painful, all-consuming, occasionally transcendent.
After a while, you move on from falling in love to “Loving Someone”.
“When you graduate from “Being In Love” to “Loving Someone” you understand – Love is not about owning, Love is about wanting the best for them, It’s about seeing or Helping them achieve great heights, with or without you. Love is not what you say, it’s what you do.”
Growing old with you…
There’s nothing I would rather do,
than to grow old in love with you,
the fun that being with you brings,
our memories made of little things,
the talks we have, the jokes we share,
the hugs, the kisses here and there…
what better reason could there be,
to ask you to grow old in love with me.
There are other kinds of love, of course, some better, but different. Today romance is on my brain.
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
By John Donne
As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls, to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
“The breath goes now,” and some say, “No:”
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
‘Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears;
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers’ love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refin’d,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fix’d foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the’ other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end, where I begun.
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
By E. E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Stella's Place 
Tom Selleck and Jillie Mack’s 30-Year Marriage Began with Whirlwind Romance
The pair marks a milestone anniversary on Aug. 7.
http://www.countryliving.com/life/entertainment/a44251/tom-selleck-jillie-mack-married-30-years/
From the several interactions I had with Tom during my working years in the film industry, it was obvious he’s a very nice man…and astoundingly handsome in person.
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Life is always a surprise. Some good, some seemingly not so good. I think our job is too find the good and to just deal with the seemingly not so good, which might actually not turn out to be not so not good as the pain we first felt on the occurrence.
Whatever history you have experienced, Stella…your devotion and energy on this site brings a lot of good surprises and pleasure to a lot of us…who are merely plowing along on our personal life journey too.
Very best wishes on a significant day and memory time to you, and may the day find its special good parts for your enjoyment and pleasure.
and may Tucker not pee on your flower beds.
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Tucker is more likely to tear up the flower beds. I wish he would learn to pee on the weeds.
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We never really learn anything without a certain amount of pain.
During one of my soul searching periods, I did a lot of journal writing. I found it helped me to stop chasing thoughts around the inside of my head.
One morning, I wrote how I would miss him, how I would miss his support, his ability to help me figure things out, his willingness to always be there for me – no matter what. Then I did a double face palm and realized he never did ANY of those things. My sadness went away shortly after that missive. Over the years I have found that there are still happy memories about that relationship – not the least of which is I wouldn’t be who I am today without having walked on those particular burning coals.
Stella, today I hope that you will see happy memories through the prism of the woman you are and that they still carry the power to make you smile. I echo Joshua’s sentiments:
“Whatever history you have experienced, Stella…your devotion and energy on this site brings a lot of good surprises and pleasure to a lot of us…who are merely plowing along on our personal life journey too.”
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Several years ago I made a road trip to see my uncle, the last of my father’s siblings, one last time. I picked up my cousin in Omaha, and we drove halfway across the state to my uncle’s house.
We used to exchange letters in the days before emails. We poured out our hearts to each other. My cousin brought along my letters from a time when we had decided to divorce, my husband and I. We eventually worked things out, but there was a lot of misery between us for a year or two. She started to read my letters aloud. After about five or six, I asked her to stop.
I sure was a self centered whiny idiot. And yet I remember the pain, the heartbreak, and I also remember that we were both very selfish and hurtful during that time.
I’m glad we made it. And I’m really glad I’m not that person, mostly, anymore.
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Oh, yeah – it’s something, isn’t it?
Grant and I didn’t “make it” – the first time. After 12 1/2 years, we were divorced for 6 1/2 – with no other marriages between. The reason for the breakup was my hard heart and the fact that Grant wasn’t perfect. After some growing up (on the part of each of us) and some deeper trusting of God for daily things, we married again, in 1984, and had thirty really productive (not all easy) years before he died 3 1/2 years ago. I am beyond grateful for the good things we “won” during the last thirty years.
Stella – this is a really great thread, and I love your open heart. All of these things are part of loving, regardless of outward situations. I remember “working out” “how to love” the second time we began.
I finally figured out that:
1. I can love NOW
2. I can love AS MUCH AS I CAN
3. I can love ON PURPOSE
When I practiced those things [substitute “will” for “can”] (which we learned to practice better ‘n better) it was always good. Never perfect. But always good.
I’m really touched by this thread and each post.
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I forgot to share my date: this August 1st, earlier in the week, it was the 52nd anniversary of our first marriage. I appreciate that very much. Our “other anniversary” is January 28.
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Kind of like those that have a birthday & a Re-birth (life in Christ) day! Birth happens to all but the Re-birth is a choice…likely your second marriage was with eyes wide open & hearts willing to forgive & love in spite of brokenness. Blessings on both anniversaries!
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My godfather used to say “Love is an act of will.”
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Did you ever hear the Don Francisco song utilizing that language, “Love is not a feeling – it’s an act of the will….”
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I had not heard the song before, I like it, thank you 🙂 .
I was on my path to christianly when I met my Godfather, sometimes I didn’t really know what I believed and certainly I wasn’t sure that I loved this “God” so I prayed “My God I desire to love you.”
My godfather looked me in dead in the eye and said “How would you like it if your husband said that to you? Tell God you love him, you do, even if you don’t know it yet.”
He also once said to my husband “It’s times like this that I only love you because God commands me to, not because I want to or because I like you.” It was so funny to see the look on his face. The he cracked up.
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To be honest, I have no feelings for the man I married that day, good or bad. He fathered my daughter, and for that I am grateful, although he didn’t contribute anything to raising her.
Later in life I found the love of my life, and had him for 20 years before he died. Fond memories there always.
I do miss my father.
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What a beautiful idea for a thread Stella.
One of the most beautiful love songs, sung by the beautiful Luther Vandross.
My favorite Luther song about the purest of love. Makes me cry every time I listen to it and my father is still here.
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It made me cry too!
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“Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
I’ve never found a more accurate, nor more poetic description, whether you are thinking, as here, of romantic love, or in the broader sense of charity.
Love also consists of wanting to smack somebody upside the head sometimes. And times when you don’t like them very much at all. But, that’s the point of love. It’s the glue that holds things together while everything comes apart.
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Menagerie, it was only in the last five years of Grant’s life that we FINALLY learned how to have a productive argument. We were both raised in families in which it was a failure to either disagree or (worse) raise one’s voice. Hard lessons. Hard lessons.
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Stella, I love this post, and that today has deep meaning for you. Thanks you. And I also love Cummings.
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That poem was read at my DD’s wedding by a good friend.
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PS: How can my daughter have been married 20 years already? I am so glad she found the love of her life, married him, and had two beautiful children. Truly blessed, all of us.
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My favorite secular song in the whole world. Wooly beware. If you make a scornful comment I shall smite you. I listen to this when I need encouragement or motivation.
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Or just to feel happy, or a little young again.
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Would smiting me make you feel happy, or young again? 😉
B.B. King is the MAN.
He couldn’t even read music notation. When they said, “Play in E, and then G, and then C”, he said, “Just play. I got this.” And he did.
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Sun Studios Memphis! I love that it was recorded there. Music, lyrics, the combination of B.B. and U2, and an intriguing video. I love it.
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Sam Phillips…the Sun Records founder brought them all out for us to love and listen to…
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ah man….B.B. “blues boy” King…..da man with Lucille his guitar….
In 1988, King reached a new generation of fans with the single “When Love Comes to Town”, a collaborative effort between King and the Irish band U2 on their Rattle and Hum album.
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Lucille would have been a good name for a good old dog. We had a little dog named Maybelline when I was first married. Yes,
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He Bids His Beloved Be At Peace
I hear the Shadowy Horses, their long manes a-shake,
Their hoofs heavy with tumult, their eyes glimmering white;
The North unfolds above them clinging, creeping night,
The East her hidden joy before the morning break,
The West weeps in pale dew and sighs passing away,
The South is pouring down roses of crimson fire:
O vanity of Sleep, Hope, Dream, endless Desire,
The Horses of Disaster plunge in the heavy clay:
Beloved, let your eyes half close, and your heart beat
Over my heart, and your hair fall over my breast,
Drowning love’s lonely hour in deep twilight of rest,
And hiding their tossing manes and their tumultuous feet.
W. B. Yeats
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What a find.
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Imagine being brave enough to sing with Placid Domingo and have it recorded for prosperity.
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Then there was the northern center for fifties music:
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My favorite romantic Aretha Franklin:
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Probably my favorite Motown tune:
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A born romantic, I absolutely adore love stories about real people, plus created stories from books and films. This is one of my favorite stories….
Russ Columbo was a huge radio, recording, and nightclub star who pretty much went into obscurity after his death at age 26 in 1934. Though I’d heard of him over the years, I’d never actually heard his voice until running across this YT last year. He had a beautiful timbre to his baritone. Of course, the style of singing (called crooning) is very 1930s.
A child prodigy, Columbo composed music, played the violin, accordion, clarinet, guitar and piano, though he generally played the violin in jazz bands in his early years and then when he fronted his own orchestra. He also made a few so-so movies (unfortunately, acting wasn’t one of his consistent talents, though he had some lovely scenes).
Here’s a clip from “Broadway Thru a Keyhole” made in 1933, where he introduced this song to his fans. Though for many years a hit song for one singer would also be recorded by numerous other singers, I’m not aware that anyone else ever recorded this song.
YOU ARE MY PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE
I remember the day we met, the way we met, Sweetheart.
I remember a night like this, a sigh, a kiss, let’s reminisce…
And talk about the past, the present and the future.
This is the past, dear, a spark then a flame,
The moon was to blame,
And the world was all in tune.
This is the present, you in my arms, I’m holding your charms
I thank my stars for the moon.
I see my future, you at my side, a groom and a bride,
A home with room for more than two.
My beloved one, you are my past, my present and my future
I’m only living just for you.
(Lyrics: Mack Gordon; Music: Harry Revel)
To top it all off, Columbo and the beautiful actress Carole Lombard fell in love. Carole adored dogs….
And Russ…later confessing to friends that he was the love of her life….
It’s been written that Carole’s will stipulated she be buried in one of the two crypts Russ bought when he purchased them in 1934 at the Forest Lawn-Glendale Great Mausoleum in California. Since she was married to Clark Gable at the time of her death in 1942, she was buried in the same mausoleum but not where she’d originally intended. That crypt, located directly below Columbo’s, remains empty to this day.
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Five years from now when someone is going through the Stella’s Place archives and comes across this post, they’re going to look at that tortuous first sentence/last paragraph and wonder if I’d been imbibing some of the peach schnapps Nyet sets out for me each morning. LOL!
It should read, “…one of the two crypts Russ purchased in 1934 at….”
Life at the keyboard…!
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He was a handsome man. Sad that he died so young. Lombard died quite young too (33.)
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I was thinking all evening about when the first time I remember hearing Russ Columbo’s name. It likely was in this 1970s Neil Diamond song….
“Done Too Soon”
I read history a lot as a kid; started collecting my “historical data” around 4th grade (pasted in scrapbooks for each decade of the 20th Century with a special one for World War II) culled from second hand magazines like THE SATURDAY EVENING POST, TIME, LIFE and LOOK, READER’S DIGEST, PHOTOPLAY, REDBOOK, and the local newspapers. So, I might have run across his name back in the 50s, too. But I never knew about Russ and Carole until five or so years ago.
A person could view his photos and he looks different in each one–some handsome, some almost plain, but always Italian…sigh!
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I think I have a girlfriend. It’s why I posted “I Got a Woman” by Ray Charles yesterday.
Pretty sure. She’s wonderful. Barbara Jean. Cute Southern accent, and prettier than she knows.
She asked me out two days ago. We hug each other tight every day, and then get on with our work. Then we hug when we part at the end of a shift. It just comes natural.
I’m giddy about this. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had love, and never real love.
It’s like I’ve been driving half of a car that’s been laser-sliced down the middle, all this time, scraping and sparking down the road.
I didn’t deserve the keys to the other half of the car until recently. I knew it, God knew it, and all the world knew it. And she asked me out. Sadie Hawkins day, I guess.
Apropos thread for me, Stella.
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Woo hoo Wooly! Congratulations prayers for a beautiful relationship ❤️.
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Lovely post 😊
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